A new beginning… November 15, 2009

So I know I have been MIA for a while now.  The last update wasn’t my happiest and it’s been a whirlwind since May. It was an interesting post-college summer.

The Job Search: Trying to find a job was difficult.  I sent out ten applications and never got a reply! I wanted to watch that movie Post-Grad because I felt I could relate.  I ended up putting in my application twice in Elizabeth.  The second time, I actually got a response! It was tense for a couple of days.  I was trying to get all my paperwork in and trying to make the deadline of the board meeting.  I ended up missing it.  My heart and spirit was crushed, but they ended up calling an emergency meeting in which I passed and became an official teacher.

Unemployment: I ended up getting unemployment and had a work free summer.  No job and just time for me.  It was restful.  It caused me to have to stop moving and I went a little crazy. I had been non-stop from the first day I stepped on my college campus.  I worked as well as taking 6 classes at a time. I never had a break, so unemployment was my rest.  Of course, it ran out before I got my job!  It caused some stress, but I don’t think I was ever as financially stable as I had been (until now of course) when I was on unemployment.

My First Job: I am a 7th grade Language Arts teacher now and I love it! It’s been very interesting.  The first marking period ends on Tuesday and it’s been a full, fun time.  Halfway through the marking period, I also became a 6th grade Language Arts teacher. I am doing double duty now. I am also teaching after school. It’s a little crazy and stressful, but I am getting into the flow of it.

The Love of my Life: This October 8th made 4 wonderful years with my boyfriend Phil.  Four days before our anniversary, we went to see Blink-182!  They are our favorite band and probably the band that we thought we would never see.  When they reunited, we definitely knew we had to see them. We went to Madison Square Garden and sat in the Floor Section.  I was so happy and thought that nothing could have made that night any better.  Boy, was I wrong.  We got home and Phil said he wanted to give me my anniversary gift.  On my porch, Phil asked me to marry him.  Of course, I said yes!  He is now my fiance and we are planning on getting married on May 8th.

The Wedding Countdown: According to the countdown, we have 174 days until we become man and wife. I am excited.  I have my dress.  The bridesmaids have their dresses. We booked the reception site.  We have the church.  We have the pastor.  DJ: check.  Cake: check. I haven’t completed my list of things to do, but I hopefully will get everything done by May 8th.  I got my days off for a short but sweet honeymoon.  I am trying to stay calm and not stress to much.

Life is good.  I can’t complain.  I told Phil after the shock had set in from being engaged, “I am getting everything I have ever prayed for.”  I cried and am so very thankful. I could cry at this very moment.  After the hard years and the hard times when I didn’t think things would get better, I am standing triumphant and successful.

Hello World! May 4, 2009

I know my friends, I have been gone for some time.

I am graduating in 15 days.  Thursday is my official last day student teaching at Burnet Middle School.  I loved ever second of the torture. lol.

I will hopefully be back soon with more updates on myself as well as on my story.  I know certain people are waiting for it.

Purpose December 5, 2008

It is finally Friday!

I am exhausted.  This was my first full week of teaching.  I loved it, but it was tiring. Last night I finally got a full night of sleep and I’m feeling pretty well today.

Yesterday was my last observation and I got all my paperwork (my review) for this semester. I did really well.  My supervisor told me that I have a natural ability to teach and I am so glad.

In the beginning of the semster, I had some doubts and was really freaking myself out.  My final year and now I begin to doubt the last three years of college education? I came into college knowing that at the end, I would be a teacher. Since I knew I only had until May 2009 to accomplish this goal, I’ve been going full steam ahead. Nothing has stopped me from getting to this point.  Yet, I began to doubt and stress so much this year.

If anything this semester has taught me is that I love this job.  I love being in front of the classroom and thinking of fun activities where students barely realize that they are learning.  I love being creative. I love the kids! Every job I’ve had has been with kids and helping them learn.  I guess this has been my life’s goal.

This is my purpose.  This is the one place in the universe where I belong and flourish.  I want to challenge you.  Where do you flourish?  What is that one thing that people are like, “Wow, you’re a natural!”  It’s probably right there in front of you.  Ask people and they can tell you what they see you are good at and what makes you alive.

find it…

Long time, No write October 29, 2008

Sorry my friends for abandoning you.  I have been on haitus because of the summer and now school.

It’s been hectic.  During the summer I was trying to live life to the fullest.  I was grasping at every opportunity available to experience and learn and grow.  I had some issues with myself.  I had to come to a realization of who I was and what was going on inside of me.  It took awhile.  I’m still working on myself.

Lately, I’ve been trying to deal with the stress.  It always seems like I’m under major stress.

Let me explain:

I’m a Senior at William Paterson.  I have next spring and I’m done.  I’m working on getting my certification for Elementary Education and Middle School English.  I have 6 classes with two full days in a classroom in Passaic. This means I have no life!  Or as my boyfriend says, “You have a life, just not the one you want.”  On top of this, I am a leader in my youth group, “The Bridge Youth Ministries”.  I am in charge of our Bridge Jr. Program at our Midtown Branch. Plus, I am Assistant vocal director for the Young Adult’s band for our church called “The Connection”.  Plus, I have a boyfriend and sometimes, I have friends.

Right now, I dealing with the major decisions of what I want to do.  I’m struggling financially and was denied unemployment.  I feel like I need a job because I’m barely making it babysitting one day a week.  I have been shirking some of my responsibilities as is with my school load on high.

Yes, I know. I’m almost there!

It’s just craziness in my head and I have been falling into slight depressions lately.  My one support has been my boyfriend because lately I’ve been slightly angered with God.

He’s been trying to deal with my trust issues, but of course I’m having trouble.  Being in financial distress doesn’t help my trust.

Yet, I shall not stress for the next couple of days due to the National Youth Workers convention in Pittsburgh.  I’m taking this convention for me this year.  Last year was business.  This year is personal.

I will try and update while I’m there.

Tata for now!

The Catch-Up Blurb February 28, 2008

Sorry my friends!!!!

Life has been quite crazy.  I tried to blog my story on Monday, but it didn’t work for some odd reason.  So I’m blogging in between classes, so you do not think that I have completely abandoned you.

One of the major things I want to write about is what happened on February 9th…

February 9th is going to go down in our church history, I am afraid to state.  That Saturday was when we held the 11th annual Christ Fellowship Ski Trip.  This was to be my first year.  My boyfriend is an avid skier and has been skiing for awhile, so I felt that I had to attempt it.  He is very active and athletic, which I am not.  While he is jumping and flipping off, onto, or through walls, I would be quite comfy on a couch with a great book. 

So i went.  I was tired, but looking forward to some fun and falls.  We approached the first hill and I just kind of went for it.  No lesson.  No tips and no tricks.  Just went down the hill.  I didn’t kill myself, but I fell.  Spent ten to twenty minutes trying to get up.  Wasn’t discouraged, but was mighty proud of myself.  Phil then gave me some help about what to do.  Went down again and can’t remember exactly, but I’m sure I fell.  I did fall quite a few times.

Let’s fast forward just a little.  We had gone down once and were now on our second attempt down the hill.  I thought I was getting better, but have since heard that I was still doing pretty awful.  We were stopping at a bend and as I tried to stop, I fell.  Big surprise…not.  Yet, this fall was different.  As I fell, I felt my right leg twist.  Jabs of mind numbing pain went through my knee.  Oh, it hurt.  I had to get brought down and then make a trip to the ER.  It wasn’t fun at all.  AT ALL.  I hated it. I won’t continue on the rest of the horribleness, but will just say that I had sprained my knee and was unable to do anything for myself.

Update:  I’m about 80% better now.  I was very giddy last week when I was actually able to go up the stairs in a some what normal fashion.  Now I am the master of up and down.  Still can’t bend it like the left kneee, but my right knee has made significant progress.

So that has been the past couple of weeks for me.  I will update the story soon.  I have been receiving feedback and I will continue onward.

Thoughts (Semi-blurb) on Stress December 7, 2007

Lately, I have been under so much stress.  Thats why I haven’t been able to blog as of late.

It’s coming towards the end of the semester which means that everyday is a new deadline that I have to meet.  Sadly, I was born to procrastinate and thought I struggle against it, I fail most of the time.

It’s just been so tiring to try to handle all of my responsibilities.  I don’t want to sound like I am complaining because I don’t like to complain.  I don’t like to whine because I know that I have made this bed and I am ready to lie in it.

It’s funny that only a short while ago, I was writing about how I felt that I was resting in God.  It seems that I haven’t been able to rest at all.  This week, I was sleeping a lot only because I was sick, but I wasn’t really resting.  Though I was sleeping, my mind was uneasy.  I have so many things due and going on  with me that my mind is running while I may be standing still.

I just need to get this week over with so I can actually rest for school will be over for a month.  Thank God for that.

Blurbs on the past week November 27, 2007

*11/20-Last day of classes and work before Thanksgiving. Didn’t pay much attention to school. Work was an easy 5 hours since I was still in training at the new center. Spent time on the computer doing a online orientation which kept loosing my work causing me to frantically try to catch up. Then I went to lunch with my “buddy” from work, which was much better than my last buddy lunch from the last center. For one, we actually ate food (Chinese Buffet in Five Points). Two, there was no awkward, “So where did you go to school?” and all those stupid getting to know you interview like questions. It was very casual even if I didn’t talk to much because of there was actually 2 other people. I got to know more people at work. It was good. I spent the rest of the night on the computer finishing an online class project, which was probably the most school I did all day.

*11/21-Woke up to the phone ringing and Phil saying, “We are going to be late.” Turns out my mom decided not to wake me up, even though she said she would, so I could get ready to go hiking with Kevin and Phil. I had to hurry out of bed, get ready, and then drive to school 12 to meet up with the guys. We ended up going to this new place that Kevin hadn’t even been to yet called Dingman’s Ferry. It has now earned the name “Broke Neck Mountain” for the fact that if you fall climbing up the side of the first obstacle (a waterfall), you will break your neck and therefore die. It caused me to get out of my comfort zone and challenged me. Phil has some embarrassing video of me during the first obstacle and will not delete it. It is not me at my finest. Later, Phil and I went to see “No Country for Old Men”. Great movie and you should go see it.

*11/22-Woke up to the realization that I had not emailed one assignment in for my teaching class. Went downstairs and helped make baked ziti. Had a Thanksgiving dinner with my family. Took a nap and then went to my aunt’s house to have another Thanksgiving dinner. Afterwards, went to Phil’s house to visit with his family minus anymore food. Played Pictionary and then went home and to bed with a couple extra pounds.

*11/23-The start of a long and emotionally exhausting weekend. Wake up and find out that my dad is in more pain than he had been in for the past coupe of days. He has not eaten, but vomited repeatedly. He’s in a cold sweat. Basically, he was not good. Yet, (this will be the start of a slight rant) he refused to go to the doctor/hospital. Why do guys always insist that they are okay, when they are not? Why can’t they visit a doctor? Why do they not acknowledge that they a) human and b)mortal?(end of rant) Finally, after I go online and scare him with a little webmd knowledge, we call an ambulance and proceed to the emergency room. We get there at about 1 pm and after 8 hours of testing and (mostly) waiting, the surgeon says they are going in to remove his appendix. Most of the day it was my dad and me. Mom had to work and there was no way my sister’s were staying in the hospital for that long. I was drained by 9:40 when they rolled him into the operating room. Plus added emotional strain, I just wanted to pass out. Doctor comes out and says my dad had to be lying because his appendix had already burst which meant he had to be in pain for at least 10 days. Good job dad! Saw dad get situated in a room and then hit the sack.

*11/24-Visited dad in the morning for a couple of hours. Then proceeded to stay home and lounge the day away. I was in a funk. I was not the normal Samantha. I found out today how truly awesome my friends are in trying to include me and how much my church family cares for me. Though I didn’t leave the house, the invitation was enough to brighten my day a tad bit.

*11/25- Went to church. Was on the way to visit dad, when my mom decided to inform me that he was coming home and that I had to pick him up. This meant a little more pressure on me and I turned into frantic Samantha once again. Got dad home and got his medicine. Afterwards, I got some fellowship time with my church peeps. We got together to go see Rob Bell in NYC. He was great. It was a little lengthy, but it was awesome. I love the last thought when he was talking about the bishop asking the woman about her visions of Jesus. The bishop had asked the woman to ask Jesus what his last confession was and when the woman asked Jesus he said, “I don’t remember”. That was a WOW moment.

*11/26-First day back to the grind. I was so tired and hated waking up to my mom asking me if I was going to school because that meant that my alarm had not gone off and I was late. Went to my first class and did nothing, but I got back my lesson plan and got an A. I was very happy and I felt that I may actually be doing well in school. Took a nap between classes. Went to my Shakespeare class and found out I got a C-/D+ on my last paper. Was then returned back to the planet earth and rushed to work. I LOVE the new center. I’m not working in the infant component and get to be with the babies. I love it. After work, I went to pick up Leopard. I was so happy because it is beautiful.

*11/27-Today is alright. Had my first class, which I was late for. Did absolutely nothing. I’m probably not going to do much in the next class, but I’m beginning to feel the end of the semester crunch. I have to go to work later, but that’s fine.

That’s been my week. Whew!

20 hours completed November 15, 2007

As a student at William Paterson University who wants to become a teacher, there are some things that I am required to do. One of them is that I have to complete 20 hours in the field. Today I realized, is when I would finish those 20 hours and I only realized it when it was nearing 3 o’clock.

It has been an interesting experience. Mrs. Sarah Becker has been my teacher in teaching and has really pushed me through these 20 hours. She has made sure that I got the most out of these hours. I have led a small guided reading group and worked with them on the story of “Rumpelstiltskin”. I have taught twice in front of the big group. I have graded assignments, called attendence, and even heped them with their math.

Yet, today may hold one of my biggest accomplishments. I had to teach the whole class. In my earlier blurb, I talked about my nervousness and feelings of not being cut out for teaching. I was so upset because this is one of my dreams. Today was very helpful.

I walked into the classroom at 1:15 and saw that the DARE officer was in the class, instructing them on how to say no and such. I sat down next to Sarah and listened to the DARE officer instruct the class. I kept looking at the class, hoping that I wouldn;t have to teach. I had prayed in my car before going into School #12, but I still felt anxious. The DARE officer said sorry to sarah for going over and then left. I looked at the clock and it read 1:40, which made me think that I wouldn’t have to teach because they had not done any language arts for the day. It’s essential that the day include 20 minutes of Language Art instruction and 60 minutes of Language Art Centers. Since Sarah usually has them ack up at 2:45, I thought that I was set. I was wrong.

Sarah tells me I’m on and says to the class that I’m going to be teaching. So I get up and Sarah has them get their Social Studies books. I have them open to page 314 and we read a little. Then I have them all stand up. I say that we are going to re-enact the Revolutionary War. I go through a little story nd have them sit down as they get killed. They enjoyed this, but kept trying to dodge me as they had to sit down.

I wanted them to discuss important people from the lesson so I had picked a couple of people from the chapter and split the class into groups. I went through an examle of what I wanted them to give me and set them to work. They did very wel except one group. They took forever to get started and by the time I had called time, they werent ready. I helped them when it was there turn, but I could tell that they were upset. I realize that I should have been more on top of them to get settled. I tried, but I should have been more forceful.

Overall, the lesson was much better than my first attempt. My first attempt was pretty bad with me not having them involved and not being confidant. Today I felt confidant in what I was doing. I guess my prayers worked.

I just feel reaffirmed that this is my calling. It always feels good to be encouraged.