Reflections… May 6, 2008

I’m sitting in the library auditorium and instead of listening to the professor or even being productive by writing a paper, I decided to update.

I’m going to try not to talk about my stresses or anything not happy or purely reflective. I will try, but I make no guarantee.

I’ve been trying to take a step in the right direction. I’ve been trying to eat healthier and exercise. I have been off and on with it. The first week I was very diligent and lost two pounds, but have fallen off that wagon. Life has taken over. Things have come up on the times I had specifically set for the gym and I’ve have done those instead of being true to my original intentions. I’ve felt bad when I haven’t gone, but nonetheless, I have skipped.

I want to loose weight and be thin again. Phil has been awesome with me and my issues. He has been really sweet saying that I’m beautiful and perfect the way I am. He is really great, but that doesn’t help with my doubts and general dislike of myself.

I’ve been having some sort of fun between the hecticness of my life. It’s a little strange, but I’ve been having the most fun when I have been irresponsible. Ditching the gym and work for fun with friends and just some me time.

They always say to live life for the moment. It sometimes seems that living for the moment means ditching schedules and responsibility sometimes. I’m 20 years old and I feel that if I didn’t have my scheduler or my To Do list, I would be lost. That’s not living for the moment and seems like a waste of this precious gift that God has given. So yes, I do procrastinate and stress myself out over projects that are left for the last minute, but I’m enjoying my life by using my time for more important things. Instead of spending 20 hours on projects/papers, I spend maybe 5 or less. That difference is spent laughing, loving, and enjoying time with friends and the people I love. God has blessed me and I want to spend time enjoying those blessings, not taking time to do work that only lasts for a couple of months.

I know things will get better as soon as school is over. There will be more time with no school.

Waiting for my life not to be scheduled and responsible.

20 hours completed November 15, 2007

As a student at William Paterson University who wants to become a teacher, there are some things that I am required to do. One of them is that I have to complete 20 hours in the field. Today I realized, is when I would finish those 20 hours and I only realized it when it was nearing 3 o’clock.

It has been an interesting experience. Mrs. Sarah Becker has been my teacher in teaching and has really pushed me through these 20 hours. She has made sure that I got the most out of these hours. I have led a small guided reading group and worked with them on the story of “Rumpelstiltskin”. I have taught twice in front of the big group. I have graded assignments, called attendence, and even heped them with their math.

Yet, today may hold one of my biggest accomplishments. I had to teach the whole class. In my earlier blurb, I talked about my nervousness and feelings of not being cut out for teaching. I was so upset because this is one of my dreams. Today was very helpful.

I walked into the classroom at 1:15 and saw that the DARE officer was in the class, instructing them on how to say no and such. I sat down next to Sarah and listened to the DARE officer instruct the class. I kept looking at the class, hoping that I wouldn;t have to teach. I had prayed in my car before going into School #12, but I still felt anxious. The DARE officer said sorry to sarah for going over and then left. I looked at the clock and it read 1:40, which made me think that I wouldn’t have to teach because they had not done any language arts for the day. It’s essential that the day include 20 minutes of Language Art instruction and 60 minutes of Language Art Centers. Since Sarah usually has them ack up at 2:45, I thought that I was set. I was wrong.

Sarah tells me I’m on and says to the class that I’m going to be teaching. So I get up and Sarah has them get their Social Studies books. I have them open to page 314 and we read a little. Then I have them all stand up. I say that we are going to re-enact the Revolutionary War. I go through a little story nd have them sit down as they get killed. They enjoyed this, but kept trying to dodge me as they had to sit down.

I wanted them to discuss important people from the lesson so I had picked a couple of people from the chapter and split the class into groups. I went through an examle of what I wanted them to give me and set them to work. They did very wel except one group. They took forever to get started and by the time I had called time, they werent ready. I helped them when it was there turn, but I could tell that they were upset. I realize that I should have been more on top of them to get settled. I tried, but I should have been more forceful.

Overall, the lesson was much better than my first attempt. My first attempt was pretty bad with me not having them involved and not being confidant. Today I felt confidant in what I was doing. I guess my prayers worked.

I just feel reaffirmed that this is my calling. It always feels good to be encouraged.