I know I haven’t updated in awhile. The comment on the last post has been one reason why. I didn’t know how to approach the blog after such a misundertsanding of what I was trying to express. So I’ve decied to finally update my story.
Just as a side note, I’m going to submit my little bit for publishing. It’s a big risk for me. Pray that I don’t get murdered.
You need to pay…
I run past her because I do not want to speak to her. I, Milagros Amanda Farias, do not want an exchange of words with Madeline. She doesn’t notice of course. She is busy pushing her way back into someone else’s life. I have things to do. I have to get onstage for worship. I’m singing back up today. We are supposed to be praying now. I hope I haven’t missed it.
I run up the stairs and push the red curtain back and see the band in a circle. I push my way into the circle by grabbing Elizabeth’s hand and Charles’ hand. I try to concentrate while Charles seems to be playing with my hand. He somehow gets his hand comfortable with his pinky hanging out, but while he was getting there, I had become very unfocused.
“Why is she here?”
“Why has she come back in our world?”
“What does she want?”
“What is her motive?”
“Why can’t she leave us alone?”
“Why can’t she disappear?”
While I contemplate these ideas, praying seems to wind down. My thoughts are disturbed by an amen. I have missed prayer.
It’s time to get on stage and as I walk to the mike, I sneak a peak at the crowd. No way. She’s sitting next to Edward. That’s my seat. As his girlfriend, my place is beside him. She doesn’t belong there.
As I sing, I cannot help but watch. Watch her give him a hug. Watch her whispering to him. Watch her giggle at his reply. I am angry, yet I keep on the calm cool demeanor of worship. Inside, I’m twisting. I feel something boiling to the surface. Right now, I hold it down. Just for now…
Another amen and I have been distracted again. Worship time is over. I walk offstage, to the back door, around, and then back behind the audience. I find a seat in the closest to the sound board. I sit in the semidarkness and let loose my thoughts. Now, I’m watching them from the back. Watching her whisper in his ear. The ear that I should be whispering in. I see her shift in my chair. My seat.
Why is she here? She left us. She chose her path and it wasn’t to our door. She chose to dabble and experiment. She chose new friends. I was abandoned. I mean, she abandoned us. Yet, she’s here now. In my spot, by his side. In my place.
I hear an amen and I know that I have missed the message. The pastor has been at the front talking for a half hour and I cannot recall any of it. I sit with my head in my hands. What have I done? Everyone is standing up to leave. A paper falls into my lap and I see Pastor Ken walk past.
I open the paper.
