Purpose December 5, 2008

It is finally Friday!

I am exhausted.  This was my first full week of teaching.  I loved it, but it was tiring. Last night I finally got a full night of sleep and I’m feeling pretty well today.

Yesterday was my last observation and I got all my paperwork (my review) for this semester. I did really well.  My supervisor told me that I have a natural ability to teach and I am so glad.

In the beginning of the semster, I had some doubts and was really freaking myself out.  My final year and now I begin to doubt the last three years of college education? I came into college knowing that at the end, I would be a teacher. Since I knew I only had until May 2009 to accomplish this goal, I’ve been going full steam ahead. Nothing has stopped me from getting to this point.  Yet, I began to doubt and stress so much this year.

If anything this semester has taught me is that I love this job.  I love being in front of the classroom and thinking of fun activities where students barely realize that they are learning.  I love being creative. I love the kids! Every job I’ve had has been with kids and helping them learn.  I guess this has been my life’s goal.

This is my purpose.  This is the one place in the universe where I belong and flourish.  I want to challenge you.  Where do you flourish?  What is that one thing that people are like, “Wow, you’re a natural!”  It’s probably right there in front of you.  Ask people and they can tell you what they see you are good at and what makes you alive.

find it…

Long time, No write October 29, 2008

Sorry my friends for abandoning you.  I have been on haitus because of the summer and now school.

It’s been hectic.  During the summer I was trying to live life to the fullest.  I was grasping at every opportunity available to experience and learn and grow.  I had some issues with myself.  I had to come to a realization of who I was and what was going on inside of me.  It took awhile.  I’m still working on myself.

Lately, I’ve been trying to deal with the stress.  It always seems like I’m under major stress.

Let me explain:

I’m a Senior at William Paterson.  I have next spring and I’m done.  I’m working on getting my certification for Elementary Education and Middle School English.  I have 6 classes with two full days in a classroom in Passaic. This means I have no life!  Or as my boyfriend says, “You have a life, just not the one you want.”  On top of this, I am a leader in my youth group, “The Bridge Youth Ministries”.  I am in charge of our Bridge Jr. Program at our Midtown Branch. Plus, I am Assistant vocal director for the Young Adult’s band for our church called “The Connection”.  Plus, I have a boyfriend and sometimes, I have friends.

Right now, I dealing with the major decisions of what I want to do.  I’m struggling financially and was denied unemployment.  I feel like I need a job because I’m barely making it babysitting one day a week.  I have been shirking some of my responsibilities as is with my school load on high.

Yes, I know. I’m almost there!

It’s just craziness in my head and I have been falling into slight depressions lately.  My one support has been my boyfriend because lately I’ve been slightly angered with God.

He’s been trying to deal with my trust issues, but of course I’m having trouble.  Being in financial distress doesn’t help my trust.

Yet, I shall not stress for the next couple of days due to the National Youth Workers convention in Pittsburgh.  I’m taking this convention for me this year.  Last year was business.  This year is personal.

I will try and update while I’m there.

Tata for now!

Thoughts (Semi-blurb) on Stress December 7, 2007

Lately, I have been under so much stress.  Thats why I haven’t been able to blog as of late.

It’s coming towards the end of the semester which means that everyday is a new deadline that I have to meet.  Sadly, I was born to procrastinate and thought I struggle against it, I fail most of the time.

It’s just been so tiring to try to handle all of my responsibilities.  I don’t want to sound like I am complaining because I don’t like to complain.  I don’t like to whine because I know that I have made this bed and I am ready to lie in it.

It’s funny that only a short while ago, I was writing about how I felt that I was resting in God.  It seems that I haven’t been able to rest at all.  This week, I was sleeping a lot only because I was sick, but I wasn’t really resting.  Though I was sleeping, my mind was uneasy.  I have so many things due and going on  with me that my mind is running while I may be standing still.

I just need to get this week over with so I can actually rest for school will be over for a month.  Thank God for that.